In Take Them by the Hand, I wrote:
I was going through security at a major airport not long after 9/11. Asked to empty my pockets by the security agent; I placed my car keys, loose change, money clip and comb in the plastic dish as directed. The security agent looked at the contents of the dish … then turned towards me with a puzzled look and remarked, “You have a rock in your pocket.”
“Yes I do” was my immediate response. I said, “It is a long story, but I use it for a devotional with my girls’ soccer team.” The agent smiled. Although still curious, she seemed satisfied with my answer …
A few weeks before, after losing the previous game, I had ended a soccer practice with a prayer about how good it was when we were all gathered together on the field as a team. I had urged the players to give thanks for the times we spent together. I asked them to consider how they could take the feelings of love we had for each other from the soccer field and into the “real world” during the rest of the week.
As I left the field that evening, my mind began to transition from our practice time to the many things I still had to do that evening before I left on a business trip early the next morning. As I piled my soccer gear into the trunk of my car, I wondered how I could keep this feeling just as I had asked my players to do.
When I glanced down at the gravel parking lot, I found an answer. I reached down and picked up a rock.
The next day as I dressed in my gray business suit, buttoned down shirt and silk tie, I took the rock from my dresser and placed it deep in my pocket. Thereafter, it became habit and everywhere I went, I had my rock in my pocket. It became an ever-present reminder of what was good in my life… With a pebble in my hand, I have felt the courage to face the giants.
A Time of Stress
The recent Presidential campaign made many of us feel uncomfortable and divided. It was been a time often lacking civility, politeness, listening, compassion, and empathy. Unfortunately, it was been a time of accusations and fabrications. Politicians and voters participated at varying levels. Many folks have been stressed. The next four years have the potential to look very similar.
In these trying times, our continuing challenge at Be There Dad is to ask, how do we lead our children? How do we help guide them to a place measured by the values of civility, compassion, respect, unity, optimism and, yes, competition, advancement and achievement.
Inspiration to Carry On
Almost two weeks have passed since the election; and I have spent much of that time asking myself what we do. I think the answer is simple. We hold tight to our values and beliefs. We carry on.
I was inspired by the wisdom of Liz Cheney on the day after. She courageously reminded us of our obligations and responsibilities by tweeting: “Our nation’s democratic system functioned last night and we have a new President-elect. All Americans are bound, whether we like the outcome or not, to accept the results of our elections. We now have a special responsibility, as citizens of the greatest nation on earth, to do everything we can to support and defend our Constitution, preserve the rule of law, and ensure that our institutions hold over these coming four years. Citizens across this country, our courts, members of the press and those serving in our federal, state and local governments must now be the guardrails of democracy.”
Our Companions
Life is a journey. I heard someone recently repeat the question, “What is more important, the journey or the destination?” Most enlightened folks have been conditioned to respond that it is the journey itself. The struggle. The challenges along the way. They often add, “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.” Or, “Do not worry about the mountains you have already climbed. Focus on the ones rising before you.” Good advice.
This week I heard an alternative to that answer. The most important part of our journey may be the companions who travel with us. Which begs the question: Who are our companions? Who will we call our neighbors? Who will journey towards the destination with us?
In our country, we do not always get to choose our traveling companions. On this vast expanse of land we call America, many people have the right to participate in our democracy. Last week, millions did participate by voting for their choices as our leaders. We will all be companions on the next phase of our journey. The losers should not despise the winners and the winners must not mistreat the losers. We agree that we will hold elections and live by the results. As President Biden has said on many occasions, “We cannot love our country just when we win.” For every thing there is a season and a time for every purpose… Now is a time for peace.
Journey for a Lifetime
The ballots have been cast and the contest completed. Now our responsibility to our children is to bring us together. Fatherhood is a journey for a lifetime. We cannot give up just because we had a bad day, a bad week or we did not get our way. Those times will come and go. But we can not sit by and watch, either. Now is a time to hold onto our values with renewed passion. We have to live our lives in the way we want America to look for our children.
We must continue to help them chase that dream for themselves. We must fill their backpacks with the lessons, experiences and values that will allow them to make decisions that will reinforce positive values and character. We must assure that our children – the next generation of voters – understand their roles as preservers of our Constitution, the rule of law and the values and ideals we call democracy. We must show our children that our responsibility is not just to vote on one day every two or four years. Our responsibility is to be active in the democratic process every day of our lives. If we do not participate, we may lose our privilege and our voice.
I believe more than ever; our children are looking to us for guidance. We can choose to cry in the storm or dance in the rain. Our society will endure, if we have the courage to face the darkness whenever it appears and allow the light of goodness to shine. Hold on to your rock. Carry on.
