Early in my time coaching kids’ basketball and soccer, after devoting much time and energy to practice and games; I asked myself if the time and effort were worth it. I asked myself if I was making a difference. I wondered, if like a box of Cracker Jack, there was a prize somewhere inside. Now, I realize that many men ask the same questions as they engage with children. For me, years ago at a basketball practice the answers became clear. Today, between Thanksgiving and Christmas, in this season of thankfulness and reflection, I share again that gift given to me.
In Take Them by the Hand (2006), I wrote:
There is a young man named Philip who played on my soccer and basketball teams for several years. He is the personification of all the values our league stands for. To me, he has been a player and a friend… We have been on a journey together. We have had our trials. We have had our successes and our failures. We have shared them together. Not long ago, as a school assignment, he wrote the following letter. Then at practice one night, he proudly presented it to me. It was handwritten on notebook paper, folded into a small square. Unedited, just as he wrote it:
Dear Coach,
I am writing you this letter to thank you for changing my life in a positive way. I would like to thank you for deciding to coach in our league, this includes taking time out of your life to help kids like me become better basketball and soccer players. If you have not noticed you have also made the people you’ve coached better people which is something that will stay with us all our life. When I grow up I want to be like you because even though you may not be that tall you have the biggest heart I have ever seen in my life. You love and care about all of the people you have coached and that is your best quality and that is the quality which I want to have. Your love, care and compassion rubs off on all the people that are around you and I am no acception to this.
During the four seasons I have been with you I have learned many new soccer and basketball skills. Without thinking about it you have taught me how to be a better, more loving and caring person and this is the thing I value more than anything that you teach me on the court. Monday’s are my favorite day of the school week not because I get to play basketball but because I get to talk to you and watch you coach, encourage, support, love and care for all 12 players on the team.
My favorite memory of you will be during the spring soccer season last year when you cried at the end of the season after the game. This symbolizes all the qualities that you contain. I hope through this letter I give a small part of what you have given me back to you. After this year I will not see you on a regular bases but when I need an inspiration you will be the first person to come to mind. All the thank yous in the world can not express my gratitude to you. These four seasons with you have been the best time of my life. What you have taught me will stay with me forever.
Your pal, Philip
I stuffed the letter in my pocket and took it home with me that evening. Anticipating what it might be about, I went to the quiet of my office, opened it and read it to myself. As I did, I could hear Philip’s voice and feel his love. Tears streamed down my face. When I finished, I realized, after all, there was a prize inside all of this. I was holding it in my hand.
Philip is twenty-one years old as I write this. He has gone off to a local college. His playing days in our league are over. But, Philip has been on the journey with me. We have built a strong relationship. I have taken his hand and shown him the way. He has learned the lessons. We shared the prize. In the days ahead, he will be one of those who goes back to find the others and shows them the stepping stones across the water.
Is there a prize inside? Why do I do this?
Go ask Philip.
Epilogue
And then in the Epilogue to that book I discovered my path forward:
When I began writing this book, I wanted to make a big impact on a lot of people. I wanted to influence lots of people to go out and start helping kids. I wanted my book to be read by a broad audience. I wanted more than I deserved.
As I wrote, I realized that I did not have all the answers. I realized that I can not make a difference for everyone. I realized that I can only share what I have. I can only share what I have experienced with those who will listen and hope that it will make a difference somewhere sometime.
I discovered that I am simply a coach. I coach a small group of kids each season. 
After all these seasons, I have touched the lives of many and I know I have made a difference for a few. However, the most important thing I discovered is that is enough. I am doing what God intended for me to do. I teach character and team work to young people while we all have fun. I am acting as a role model to those who still need to learn the way. That is my gift. That is enough. I am a part of the body, not all of it.
I am “OK” with who I am. I have opened enough boxes of Cracker Jack to find a few prizes, so I am satisfied. I have made a difference for at least one “Philip”, so maybe I have done my part. I have been blessed more than I deserve. So, with faith, I will wait for God to lead me on… ( TTBTH, p. 143)
As we give thanks for this passing year and reflect on our aspirations for the next; perhaps we might wonder if somewhere there is a Philip waiting for each of us …
Merry Christmas.
