When I first coached a soccer team of “micros” – players who were five and six years old – I wondered about the challenge of leading them as a team. I quickly found an advantage when I discovered that all of them had attended kindergarten. That fact led me to see the irreplaceable value of teachers who shape and order our society by helping kids learn the “rules of life.”
Making a Queue
Shortly into our first practice, (literally the first for each of these players) I asked them to line up for our first drill. Hoping for the best, my wish came true. They all promptly formed a nice straight line, one behind the other. No pushing, no shoving… just an orderly transition from a group to a neatly formed queue. I was amazed not only by how quickly they got in line, but also by how they seemed immediately ready to take my direction.
After some enlightenment from my wife, I came to understand that their kindergarten teachers had done 
the pre-work for me. Those marvelous instructors had taught these kids how to line up and politely wait for instructions. Thank goodness for those angels of patience who had made my job so much easier. With a line of players now anxiously and attentively awaiting my instruction, I could try to become what I hoped to be…a well-meaning, caring leader helping them to play the game the way it was intended. One at a time I taught them how to score a goal. I fed the ball to each player as they ran towards the goal. Each did their best to receive it; kick it towards the goal; then return to the rear of the line where they would wait for their next turn.
Order and Respect
This is just one example of how we teach and accept order in our society. It is a great example of children showing respect for each other. It is a great example of children understanding that their place is within a team… a larger group. Waiting patiently while others take their turn at learning. Understanding that the game (and life) is not just about them. Every player gets their turn. Every player improves. That makes the team better. Everyone wins. When players eventually understand the idea of playing for the name on the front of their jersey, not the name on their back… good things happen
Rules
In addition to soccer skills, I had to teach these new players the rules of the game. Out of bounds, offsides, and hand balls. Rules that made the contest orderly for all who played. No exceptions. Everyone learns the rules and plays by them. For the well-being of each individual and all the others, there are mandatory safety rules, too. Players must wear shin guards. No exceptions. Players must wear the uniform of their team so they can be identified. No jewelry. Necklaces can choke. Rings can injure other players. Each player’s compliance to the checklist contributes to the safety of all.
To Play or Not to Play
Not surprisingly, the first rule is “you play by the rules or not at all.” Players or parents may disagree with a rule or two, but if they want to join everyone else on the field, they must abide. You can choose to follow them and play. Or, you can choose not to follow them and not play. Two choices. Pretty simple. If we teach our children these lessons at young ages on a soccer field; it will be easier for them to accept the rules of society as they grow. Off the field, rules are intended to maintain safety and order, too. There are rules of courtesy and respect. Forming an orderly line at the grocery, airport or DMV. Waiting for your turn. No pushing or shoving. Taking your share and no more. There are rules intended to protect the individual as well as the group. Wearing a seat belt whenever they drive. Driving at the speed limit. Choose to follow the rules or you may not drive. Getting vaccinations before going to school. And others. All for the good of the community.
To assure that everyone stayed “inside the lines”, before our games we gathered in the center of the field to hold hands. We made announcements, reviewed the rules and asked everyone to play fairly. Then, we prayed for it all. After a competitive contest, we lined up and shook hands. These principles of engagement benefitted all who participated. They gave structure. They set expectations. They reduced disagreements. They maintained relationships. Standards that made us a community – a group working together sharing common goals and responsibilities.
Individuality
Within those parameters, each individual is still allowed and encouraged to flourish in their own way. To show their gifts and talents.
Part of the challenge is for each to “express” themselves while working within the lines. That is one of the challenges that will make each player stronger. Staying inbounds, not using your hands, staying onside, not kicking or shoving another player. No foul language or abusive behavior. In many ways, the rules level the playing field; but they also require each child to search for the best player inside themselves. Time after time, they do. In society our laws and rules encourage us to work harder to find the better versions of ourselves. To think before we act, to solve problems, to speak eloquently and persuade others without coercion. To sacrifice if necessary for the good of the community.
Run the Race Well
Sports are a great place for learning about how our society can and should work. In Take Them by the Hand, I offered “Stepping stones on the path to Character, Teamwork and Fair Play.“ It was my attempt to show how coaches can use sports to teach those values. One of my favorite lessons is, “Our job is to run the race well.” I wonder. If we can focus on that. If we do our jobs. If we do the best we can. If we stay within the lines. Won’t we all enjoy the success we desire?
If we simply remember what we learned in kindergarten. Get in line and wait our turn. No pushing. No shoving. No cuts. If we listen for the voices of well-meaning, caring leaders, won’t they help us play the game as it was intended?
