Our readers know, from our beginning, Be There Dad has used the phrase “the power of presence”. That idea has been the lifeblood of our ministry. As direction for our objectives, we believe, “when dads are present in the lives of their children, good things happen” . Nearly every communication we have made over the years speaks to that idea – whether explicitly or implicitly. People who follow us recognize, understand and use the words on a daily basis.
I am confident dads believe that “presence” is still a key to their relationships with their children and helping them grow. Presence is still relevant. For dads, their presence still matters at the dinner table, helping with homework, reading a bedtime story, walking the dog, sitting in the audience at the dance recital or the stands at the athletic contest. We have seen presence work.
Knowing how presence is valuable in our relationships with our children, I am wondering about the value of presence in other situations; and the importance of showing our children how presence can make an impact on others. I am wondering about how creating moments of presence can make a difference every day.
Tradition that Works
I am sometimes called old-fashioned because of my desire to hold onto traditions and things that worked in the past. But I believe that what we have learned about the power of presence through family dinners, road trips, board games and similar activities can be applied more broadly. The power of presence leads us to conversations. Questions. Sharing points of view. Debating without arguing. Relationships. When we are present, we become part of another person’s life. If even for a moment. We become part of their life story and they become part of ours.
Walking Presence
A group of Buddhist monks from Texas are currently walking across the country for peace. Few words. Few speeches. Mostly just walking quietly. On sidewalks of small towns, along highways and in public parks. As they walk, they take with them an aura of presence. That aura surrounds them and moves slowly forward with them. As the monks have journeyed across the country, crowds of people have met them along the way. To encourage them. To thank them. To share water and food. Intentionally, few words have been spoken. No persuasion. The monks believe that peace comes from within.
The energy envelops the people who gather to greet them along they way. Attempting to reflect the monks, most pray in silence. The say little. They just show up. They bring their own presence and stand within it. Waiting for the power to be released. Hoping others feel the same way. All they use is their presence to convey their spirit of peace. For most there is a connection. That is why they came. That is enough.
Perhaps the most compelling moments of the journey are when citizens who have come to watch the monks actually walk with them. For a few steps, a few hundred feet, or even miles down a road. It was a powerful moment when local citizens joined the monks as they walked across the Edmund Pettis bridge in Selma. Stopping to pray atop the bridge, the monks were surrounded by peacemakers and memories.
A Vision for Peace
The monks create a collective presence. I think many of the observers 
hope that the peace carried by the monks would somehow be channeled to them. I wonder, as they stand in the presence of each other, won’t people begin to appreciate those surrounding them? Might they speak? Might they engage in conversation? Delivered to a place where they have only the common goal of finding peace, might they engage with someone they have never met? Someone who is different than themselves? Might the monks have envisioned this? To draw people into the streets to see and talk with each other. To recognize that others are hoping and praying for the same peace that they are? If you are present, “good things will happen.”
I wonder if the people along the way hope that the traits they admire in the monks… peace, forgiveness, perseverance, kindness might be conveyed to them as the monks walk by. I like to think that is what our kids believe when they are in the presence of their dads. That the traits they admire so much in their fathers will somehow be bestowed onto them. That is why kids crave the presence of their dads.
Something We Practice
The monks have said, “Peace is not something we wait for, it is something that we practice.” I suppose we could say the same about presence. It is “something that we practice.” So, I wonder if we borrowed the approach of the monks. If we practiced presence with our friends, family, neighbors and even strangers, could we remind our children (and ourselves) of the power of the presence we have all come to understand. On the dog walk, if we took time to stop and chat with the neighbor working in his yard. (“your flowers are looking nice”). At the grocery store, if we spoke to the cashier (“how’s your day going?”). Walking home from school, if we acknowledged the crossing guard. (“thanks for what you do”) Greeting other parents as we waited for the soccer game to begin on Saturday morning (“I am glad to see you”). Could we be present in the lives of others?
Intentional Moments
Intentional moments of presence. Like the monks taking one step after another. Hoping that “good things will happen.” Perhaps those moments will stimulate a sense that someone cares. Perhaps they will start a conversation. Sharing stories that could lead to a relationship. Things we have in common, children, dogs, and a desire for peace. A moment where we might find a bit of the peaceful spirit we all have been looking for.
Could we make the world a better place if we simply decided to be present for others? One moment at a time. Presence is an old friend. Presence is the first step towards listening. Listening can be the first step towards understanding. Understanding can lead to acceptance. Acceptance can lead to love. Love can give us hope.
