A long-time Be There Dad shared with me a quote attributed 
to Muhammed Ali. It says, “Service to others is the rent you pay for your room here on earth.” An extension of “Love your neighbor,” it provides a framework for our obligations as dads. We are all called to serve each other. So, I wonder if we are all paying our share or are we being subsidized by others who are?
The Need for Service
Recently, I had the opportunity to sit for thirty minutes in a middle school office waiting on an appointment. It did not take long to see that there is a need for our service. With my greatest respect and admiration, I saw teachers and staff members who were all but overwhelmed. It was obvious that there are many opportunities where the hands and hearts of men could be helpful. Yet, I continue to have conversations with teachers and staff members about the scarcity of dads and men present in schools and at school activities.
How Much?
Seeing the need, we ask how much time should we give? What is our share of the rent? In his well-known book Mere Christianity, C.S. Lewis suggests how much we should give to charity. He proposes, “I do not believe we can settle on how much we ought to give. I am afraid the only safe rule is to give more than we can spare.” As dads we consistently encourage our children to give more by working harder and improving themselves; so giving more service ourselves seems a fair example.
I wonder, if we do have time to spare? From the beginning of Be There Dad, we have asked that question of dads who say they are busy. As many of you know, I volunteer a fair amount of my time to supporting the Be There Dad organization and the dads, school staffs and children who benefit from our work. I continue to talk with new schools about starting dads groups in order to impact kids. But, at the same time during the past few weeks, I spent hours watching NCAA basketball games, Opening Day in Major League Baseball and The Masters. I wonder if I could have spent some of that time serving our children and making a difference for them?
I wonder how many of us could recount the specific details of basketball games, but then say we do not have time to volunteer at a school? I wonder how many of us have had the self-assurance to suggest how a seasoned college coach should defend Player of the Year Zach Edey, but then turn down the chance to help a third grader read because we claim we are not qualified.
In my defense, one might say those games are special events that will only come along once a year. (In my case, this might be the last time my alma mater Purdue makes it to the Final Four in a long time). One might say I have committed enough time and I deserve some down time to refresh and regroup. One might say that they pay the rent on their own home and for their own family. Maybe those are legitimate arguments. I wonder if Mr. Ali would say that is sufficient. Could I have given up just one of those hours watching sports to serve the children in some way? Could I have given that one hour to encourage a dad to get more engaged with his children’s school? Wouldn’t I still have had my “me time” and been refreshed?
Just One Hour
During March Madness, what if all the dads who are reading
this had given just one more hour of “rent” to a child in need? Would that have made a difference? Might one child’s wish have been answered? Might one child’s life been changed? To paraphrase President Kennedy when he famously encouraged us, “Ask not what your community can do for you, ask what you can do for your community.” There are many ways to give. Ask a Principal what you can do for their school. I bet they have a list. You might be surprised how they can accommodate your schedule as well.
My Fair Share
My first chance at organized sports was as a nine-year-old third baseman. I was led by a volunteer coach. I think about all the teachers, coaches, neighbors and others who have continued to serve me over the sixty years since then. They all invested in me. They paid the rent for me until I could pay it for myself. Since I began to serve, I have tried to give back to others all those hours of presence that were given to me. That seems a fair measure of how much to give. I hope when the final tally is made, I will be able to say I paid my fair share.
I have promises to keep and miles to go before I sleep.
