I have recently returned from a week long hiking trip in the Rocky Mountains in western 
Canada. My adventure was centered around the town of Banff and four national parks. It was delightful trip, and I saw places (awe inspiring views, epic vistas, serene mountain lakes, etc.) that I had never seen before. Like so many of my life experiences, this trip touched my spirit of fatherhood.
Many of my friends and family members are familiar with the names of the small iconic towns and national parks I visited. Some have considered a vacation to the area as an item on their bucket list. Like me, others have seen the pictures of the majestic mountains on the internet and have “visited” them on their phones. As I prepared for my trip and shared my plans in casual conversation, friends asked me questions. What do you think it is really like? Is it as beautiful as the pictures? How is the weather? What will it be like to walk near a glacier? Will you meet visitors from other countries? Do you think it is someplace I would like to go? The common desire was to hear my personal account. Most just said, “tell me all about it when you return.”
Modern Day Lewis and Clark
I considered myself lucky to be able to make the trip. I felt the same sense of curiosity as the others. I began to think about my journey as an exploration on behalf of all those who had asked me questions. Having recently seen a documentary about Lewis and Clark, I imagined my role as a bit of a modern-day explorer. Of course, I would have the comforts of airplanes, buses, hotel beds and the like; but, still, I felt a sense of adventure. I accepted responsibility to go ahead of the others to parts unknown to us and then report back. Along the way I discovered there would be more to my account than just pictures of mountains and lakes.
The Places I will Go
Perhaps such trips are part of our fatherly duties. Dads are the ones who often “go ahead” so we can share our experiences with our children before they venture out themselves. Sometimes we are like the explorers of old who are called upon to intentionally go to new and different places before our families follow. And sometimes that exploration comes through the experience of just living our lives. Either way, our children seem to find comfort in their dads sharing what is on “the other side of the mountain”. What is out there where they can not yet see in “the places they will go.”
I’ve Been Here Before
When we can answer, “been there, done that” we have a start of an answer to guide them. Questions come along as our children grow. Often with anticipation and expectation, they ask questions like: What will my first day of school be like? How will I feel playing in my first soccer game? What should I say when I ask a girl to the prom? Is the SAT hard? Frequently, we can simply transfer experience from our backpacks to theirs.
I have shared before the story about the young boy who fell in a deep dark hole. He called for help to several people who passed by on the road above. Although willing, none of the passerbys were able to offer a solution to rescue the boy. Finally, his father walked by. Seeing his son, the father immediately jumped down in the hole, landing beside his son. Distraught, the son said, “What are you doing? Now we are both stuck down here.” Without hesitation, the dad looked at his son and replied, “don’t worry. I’ve been here before. I know the way out.”
Dads go first. Then report what they find. First one down the zip line. “Hang on, you’ll love it.” First one in the surf when it is cold. “The water is freezing at first, but you quickly get used to it.” “The chili is spicy, but it tastes good.” “We’re all nervous in the first game of the season.” And, “I checked. The noise outside is just the wind blowing … go back to bed.” Life is full of these opportunities. Dads are scouts. Dads are explorers. Dads “show them the way.”
Expecting the Unexpected. An Act of Kindness
On my excursion, everything did not go as I expected. Along the way I had to change some plans, adjust and carry on. Part of my report was to share that, too. For our children, learning about flexibility, how to stay calm and not get frustrated are all valuable lessons they can learn from our stories. One day, I unknowingly dropped my wallet on a hike high in the mountains. When I discovered the loss
at the end of the trail, I resigned himself to enduring the tedious process of replacing the contents. But to my surprise and delight, a fellow hiker recovered it later that day. He graciously offered to send me the wallet when he returned to his home. Fast forward. Indeed, I received the wallet in the mail this week. All contents included.
Through out my journey from the airport to the hotel and along the trails, I met new people who were kind to me. I had interactions with hikers from different countries and cultures. In the quiet of the wilderness far from social media and the noises of our day to day lives, our connections and conversations renewed my belief that there are good and caring people everywhere. Perhaps that was the most important lesson I carried home. By their acts of kindness, my faith in the goodness of others was once again rekindled. Emotions that are stirred now whenever I reach for my old wallet.
Explorers Everyday
As we have said so many times before, it is our responsibility to carry the load until our children can do it themselves. In the meantime, dads often need to go ahead – showing them how to prepare for that day when they can take the lead. In my own imagination, like Lewis and Clark, this was my chance to explore, then share with others about the majesty of our natural resources and the unique and beautiful people I met there.
Traveling to new places can be enlightening, but as dads we all have opportunities to “go ahead” everyday here at home. We need to look for them and use those experiences to guide our children. To give them confidence and courage. They are counting on us to be explorers and share the charts with which they can find “the places they will go…”
