Angels in My Cul-de-Sac

My Window

The view from my home office looks out onto a cul-de-sac. Recently our neighborhood has begun to “turn over” as long-time residents have retired, others have answered career opportunities and they have moved on. In their place, we have welcomed new families mostly with school-aged children. Girls and boys ranging in age from about 5 to 13. I have watched with curiosity as the dozen or so new children now play near the end of our street.

Isolation and Stress

Coincidentally, I have been doing a lot of reading about how children and adults are becoming isolated in our country; so, I can not help but compare the view out my window with that research, data and analysis. Research tells us that even before the turn of this century, families and children were becoming isolated. The proliferation of televisions with multi-channel cable systems seemed to lure people inside for their entertainment. The personal computer, video games, cell phones and social media have caused more and more people to stay inside and alone. It seems that those technological changes (we call them advances?) correlate with a lack of community and connection. Neighbors are less likely to know each other these days. Social media allows individuals to become “friends” or “followers” without ever meeting in person. Unfortunately, this isolation seems to be leading to negative outcomes like stress and depression. The occurrences of suicide have increased, especially among our youth. Young folks are struggling with social skills.

A Refreshing View

So it has been refreshing for me to watch the actions of the young children playing in the frame of my window. For this observer, it has been a glimmer of hope for the future. Kids seem to know instinctively how to get along with others (until someone teaches them differently.) Everyday, kids spill out of their homes, looking for things to do. Their activities vary from day to day. Riding bikes, scooters, swinging on a rope swing, and bouncing on a trampoline. Each day the participants vary, too.

But every day, a group of kids appears. They play with whomever arrives and the activities tend to follow the combination that shows up. Some of the girls have been working on a backyard production of Wicked. The boys often shoot baskets in one driveway. Everyone joined in manning a lemonade stand one warm spring Saturday. One kid has an idea and the others come together.

So, here’s what I have observed. Ironically, my “dead end” street is the beginning of wonderful, imaginative and collaborative interactions. Left to their own devices, children can engage in creative and inclusive play. Some lead. Others follow. No one is left out. When conflict or questions arise (whose turn is it on the swing?), they work it out. A majority will stand up to enforce the rules of consensus. (No pushing on the trampoline.) And when someone falls, the others lend a helping hand.

When the last of the new families moved in, the gang welcomed the children into activities like they had lived there all along. No qualifications for belonging. “You’re a kid. You live here. You’re invited. Come play. Be our friend.” And in short order they did.

A Reminder for Me

These children are building life skills. Knowing the parents, I am sure there have been some private conversations and coaching sessions about how to act; but looking out my window, these kids have reminded me how to greet new people; how to make friends; and how to maintain those relationships. Parents have periodically “stepped in”; but mostly the kids are guiding themselves. With screens and technology left inside, they have learned to entertain themselves and each other. It is amazing what children will learn together. It is amazing how inclusive they can be. Community. Relationships. Civility. Respect. I see it all just outside my window. Who knows what the future will hold for these children; but, for now I feel hopeful that good things are possible. These children are good neighbors. Perhaps they are angelic messengers sent to remind me how we can all still live together.

They Will When I am Finished

Inside our homes, screens show us images that may or may not be reality. Outdoors in the sunshine, children can observe what the world is really like. They can see nature – the sun, the sky, the clouds, trees and grass… just as God intended it to be … without modification by software or AI. Perhaps observing nature “as it is” in all its beauty; the children are encouraged to accept themselves and others “as they are” in their full beauty, too. During a time of art work, a first grade teacher asked a young student what she was drawing. The student said, “I am drawing a picture of God.” The teacher responded, “You know that no one has ever seen God, so no one knows what He looks like.” Confidently, the young girl beamed, “They will when I’m finished.”